You can see the canvas. Here I also speak to what you can't see. (or read the description below): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIcA6IXRfFs
I've been working on this yellow rose for a few days now. And I love how unexpected the color is. I haven't painted a yellow rose before, and there is a level of concentration and freedom that happens for me at the canvas of a new experience. I don't know what will happen. I'm witnessing it as much as anyone else.
More than the subject of the canvas, I'm interested in the experience of the heart in the creative process. A heart free from the burden of thought, fear, worry. Fully present.
I am so thankful that I've developed some muscle in unlocking the barriers that held me back. I continue to smile at my former self who would think "I can't paint. Others are better." I can hardly believe that I permitted those thoughts to hold me back from feeling the peace and joy I do at the canvas today.
Maybe all this canvas talk is too distracting for you. Let me illustrate it in another way. Imagine walking along the beach. The air is warm and full, the waves of the ocean are calming. The sand is grounding and reminds you to be playful, interactive, fully present. And you feel so peaceful.
This is how I feel at the canvas.
Can you imagine NOT walking on the beach because someone else was walking? Or someone else walked better or faster? Or looked better while walking?
I hope we can all see this thread of thought as ludicrous. And yet at the canvas, at the piano, at the microphone, at the race we sometimes hold ourselves back. We focus on other people and what they think or how we compare to them. Rather than focusing on the joy that unfolds when we paint, practice our instrument, sing at an open mic, or run in a race.
This painting offered me a reminder of the familiar and transformative message. When I show up to my restorative practice something unexpected happens on the outside, and something beautiful--and if I'm still enough to remember it familiar--happens in my heart. A comfort, a freedom, an opening.
A Prayer for When We Feel Stuck
Dear God of possibility, God of presence, God of joy,
Thank you for this chance to be alive. To inhabit this body and this life. God, you know how we walk through the mud, you know that terrible voice in our heads that holds us back, you know our fear of failure, you know our hesitation. God help us to be gentle with that part of us. To acknowledge it. And to step into freedom from it. God of open spaces, God of wind, God of hope, God of freedom and movement and dance and laughter and music and joy. May we step into our freedom, may we step into spaces where we can remember our connection with you, our sense of belonging in our lives, our sense of freedom and possibility. God, may we remember how you are walking with us, guiding us through the barriers, opening the doors, inviting us into more freedom and joy than we thought possible. Amen.
"Open to Freedom" 36" x 36" (c) Bronwen Mayer Henry (Acrylic on Canvas) [Available for Sale-Contact artist for details]