What if you knew there was a loving presence looking after you right now? What if you felt safe and protected? What if you moved from thinking there was a loving Divine being to feeling that loving Divine being's presence?
It was just over three years ago now that I learned this lesson in a deep way. I remember lying in a hospital bed post operation. I was in a great deal of pain. But more than my physical distress my mind was overcome with anxiety and fear. What had happened? Would everything be okay? Why did I feel so distressed? I remembered my mind racing through a pattern of thoughts. Why don't I pull it together? There are other people suffering more. I thought surely there was some idea, some phrase, something I could think or do that would relieve me of my inner turmoil. I wrestled with this into the darkest hours of the night. A dear friend sat with me. Holding my hand. And yet I couldn't find ease. I couldn't rest. I couldn't exhale.
And then a gentle quiet comforting message came to me. That there wasn't any idea or thought that I needed. What I needed was love. Not even the words around love, but the experience of love. What I needed was to breathe into this very moment being held with love. And I did. And it changed me.
"The finger that points to the moon is not the moon."
*********
Working on these paintings, I have felt my heart singing. I created these two paintings with a prayer on my heart to remember that I am being held in love. I created depth of texture. In one painting emphasizing the baby. In the other the mother. I meditated on a benevolent loving force holding and protecting me in my life. I meditated on my longing to protect others, the parts of me that are nurturing and protective with great strength. Knowing how elephants are threatened in the wild I felt their vulnerability and strength. And the vulnerability and strength required of each of us to offer love and protection and to open to receive that love and protection.
***
Protector/Protected
(poem by Bronwen Henry)
She did not need answers.
She only needed to curl up
in a loving embrace.
To remember
love had been there the whole time.
Holding her.
In protecting another
she recognized her vulnerability.
And she knew
that vulnerability was the only path.
Love was safe in her and around her.
While she held another,
she found herself to be held as well.
******
"Protected"
30" x 48" (Acrylic on Canvas)
"Protector"
30" x 48" (Acrylic on Canvas)
